What Makes Me a Worthwhile Woman?

The short answer.... not a freakin' thing. I've always been worthwhile. I've just spent years unlearning what I was born knowing.

The process of growing up for women is to unlearn that we are intrinsically and perfectly worthwhile. We are taught that our worth is defined by others. We aren't a worthwhile woman unless we are:

• Beautiful

• Nice

• Nurturing

• Thin

• Quite

• Dutiful

• Self Sacrificing

• Modest

• Subservient

• And on and on and on

When I come to believe that my worth lives in the hearts and minds of others I become pliable, fearful, and small. My inner cheerleader becomes my inner critic criticizing every interaction every minute of every day making sure I didn't say or do the wrong thing and potentially diminish my worth. Women start to live by the motto "go along to get along".

In my life this unlearning manifested in the development of a few core beliefs about the world:

1. There is no room in this world for a woman with big feelings

2. The worst thing a woman can be is selfish

3. If you aren't pretty (and thin) you are invisible

It wasn't until I had my first child that I woke up to the fact that I was living within the confines of these beliefs that were utter bulls**t. Having a child may be the fastest and definitely the most painful way to grow as a human. My daughter's perfection, wholeness and worthiness were a mirror to my perfection, wholeness and worthiness. It was like a switch flipped and I could see myself and my inherent worthiness.

My initial idea for this blog was to write about raising children who are leaders and unwavering in their worthiness. But SURPRISE! You can give something away that you don't have for yourself so I threw in a handy little comma and pivoted the content to help myself and maybe others change their beliefs about what is a worthwhile woman.

I hope you'll stick around, participate and take this journey with me. - SG