Riding the Wave: How I Finally Mastered My Emotional Cycles

There's a rhythm to our lives that we often fail to notice until it threatens to pull us under.

For years, I lived at the mercy of my emotional waves. I'd rise to spectacular heights—unstoppable, creative, present—only to crash without warning into depths so dark I couldn't imagine finding light again. During my highs, I exercised, ate nourishing foods, engaged fully with my children, and brought innovation to my work. But when the inevitable fall came, it was brutal. The slide down that emotional mountain left me unable to rise from bed, unable to care about anything, unable to face opportunities or obligations.

And each time I slid down, I thought, this is it, this is where it ends, this is where I end.

It was exhausting, this constant rising and crashing, never knowing when I would hit the water or when I might catch a new swell. I existed in a perpetual state of emotional whiplash, always recovering from the last crash or bracing for the next one.

The Power of Seeing Patterns

During one of my high periods, I made a decision to get myself "right." I bought an Apple Watch—such a simple thing—but it became the window through which I first glimpsed my truth. Over the following months, as I tracked and logged and paid attention, something profound emerged from the data: my waves weren't random. They weren't a personal failing or a sign of weakness. They aligned perfectly with my menstrual cycle.

I wasn't going crazy. I was perimenopausal.

Since 2021, I've been on a journey to understand and ride these waves. I found an incredible nurse practitioner who specializes in women's hormones, who truly listened when I described the tsunami inside me. She ran the tests, confirmed what my data had already shown me, and together we've worked to make these waves manageable.

Over time, I learned to witness these cycles without judgment. I could observe the rise and fall, the ebb and flow of my emotional state without attaching my worth to wherever I happened to be in the cycle. But witnessing wasn't enough. I was still giving my autonomy away to the wave, allowing it to carry me wherever it pleased.

Until this week.

The Breakthrough

Last week was magnificent—I was riding higher than I had in longer than I can remember. I made time for connection, community, celebration. I felt boundless. But when Monday arrived, I awoke with a familiar heaviness, that creeping sadness and anxiety that signals the beginning of the descent.

The difference this time? I noticed the shift instantly, but instead of surrendering to it, I reclaimed my power. Instead of waiting it out, I made a plan.

How to Ride Your Wave

Here's how I rode my wave, and how you can ride yours:

1. Gather your data: Track patterns over time, whether through technology, journaling, or simple observation. We cannot change what we cannot see. Your data will reveal the waves that have always been there, hidden in plain sight.

2. Notice without judgment: When you feel the shift, acknowledge it. "I am feeling anxious today" rather than "I am an anxious person." Create space between you and your feelings.

3. Remember this is temporary: No emotional state lasts forever. The wave will crest, and it will fall, and another will come. Remind yourself: this will pass.

4. Identify small but powerful levers: Ask yourself what tiny actions might make a difference. Not grand gestures that require energy you don't have, but small shifts that create momentum.

5. Commit to these small tasks: Promise yourself you'll do just these few things, even when the wave is pulling you under.

6. Repeat steps 1-5, again and again: This isn't a one-time practice but a continuous conversation with yourself. Each cycle is an opportunity to refine your approach.

This morning, I woke up to a feeling of lift, of rise, of sunny skies spreading across my inner landscape. And I am so damn proud of myself. Instead of letting the wave take me, I fricking rode it like a boss. I shortened the slide and created a soft landing for myself.

Beyond Emotions

These waves aren't unique to our emotional lives. They pulse through our relationships, our businesses, our economy, our natural world. We are always and forever wave riders, navigating the rises and falls of everything that matters to us.

The steps I used to pull myself out of my emotional trough are the same steps you can take in any facet of your life to harness the wave and ride it—whether you're facing challenges in your career, your creative practice, your relationships, or your personal growth.

Your Turn to Ride

Look around you. Where are the waves in your life right now? What patterns have you been missing because you haven't gathered the data, because you've been too close to see the larger rhythms at play?

I invite you to become a student of your own waves. Track them. Honor them. And most importantly, learn to ride them rather than being swept away.

We cannot eliminate the waves—they are integral to the human experience, to the natural world, to everything that lives and grows. But we can learn to navigate them with grace, with intention, with a surfer's knowledge that the ride itself is the point.

Today, I challenge you to identify just one wave in your life and apply these six steps. Notice how it changes your relationship with that pattern. Notice how it returns a sense of agency to you, even in the midst of forces larger than yourself.

The waves will always come. But you, magnificent you, can learn to ride them.