#WearYourDamnMask: A Lesson in Empathy & Imagination

As a parent to two young children, the only positive that has come out of this pandemic is the idea that the "safe sex" talk is going to be a cake walk when the time comes.

• Me: "Hey baby girl, you're growing up and it's time we talked about safe sex."

• (Not so) Baby girl: "Ew, mom! Do we have to do this now!?"

• Me: "Yep, but I'll make it quick."

• BG: *eye roll*

• Me: "Remember when you were little and all the responsible adults you knew were out in public wearing a mask?"

• BG: "Yeah."

• Me: "Well, we were trying our hardest to think of all the people in our community and minimize not only our risk of exposure, but the risk of exposure to the most vulnerable of our community. The safer we were, the safer everyone was. The same theory applies for to safe sex. The more responsible you are the safer you will be and the safer everyone will be."

What I won't say to my daughter is this, the same men who complain about wearing a condom because it decreases their sensation are the same men walking around right now without a mask. Actually, I may say that to her. It's probably a good measure of the quality of her potential partner.

While I could get heated here and yell and scream and try to shame those non-mask wearers among us, I won't. What I will ask of you however, is to look at your empathy & imagination skills.

We are urged to wear a mask not necessarily because it protects us, but because it will protect others. When someone refuses to wear a mask, I see it as an opportunity for that person to work on their empathy and imagination.

Empathy is the ability to recognize, understand, and share the thoughts and feelings of another. It involves experiencing another person's point of view, rather than just one's own.

Imagination is the ability to produce and simulate novel objects, peoples and ideas in the mind without any immediate input of the senses. It is also described as the forming of experiences in one's mind.

As a person with a highly developed skill for empathy and a mediocre imagination it is very easy for me to wear my mask. I can easily access people and situations in my head that keep the need for wearing masks close to my heart and therefore very clear in my mind.

So, for those of you out there who don't want to wear a mask, I ask that you go through these three visualizations. Maybe they change your mindset and ultimately your habits, maybe they don't. But hey, at least we both tried.

• Close your eyes and imagine the child you love most in this world. It could be your own child, a grandchild, niece, nephew, or hell, it could be yourself as a kid. As you see them in your mind's eye, think about all the possibility & potential housed in that tiny body. Think of their talents, passions, quirks and favorite toy. Then recall their laugh. Is it full bodied? Do they love to fake laugh? Is it high pitched or a belly laugh? Look at their smile and not just the one on their mouth, but how it radiates through their eyes. Now, imagine that child has a 10% mortality risk if exposed to the Coronavirus due to a health issue. Imagine you stopped by their birthday 2 weeks ago at the park and didn't wear a mask. Imagine now that child is having trouble breathing and is sitting in the local children's hospital surrounded by unfamiliar doctors and nurses without their siblings or their favorite toy. What if you were the exposure point? What would you feel? What would you do? What would you to the child's parents?

• Close your eyes again and imagine your favorite bartender or server. What if they were exposed? How would that impact their live and their family?

• Close your eyes again and imagine your grandparent. Imagine they were struggling for breath, dying all alone in a hospital with FaceTime as their only access to you and the rest of the family, that is if the nurse or doctor can find the time to call you.

• Close your eyes again and imagine waking up in your home completely alone with no hope of seeing anyone face-to-face in the next 6 - 9 months because you had an organ transplant and therefore immunocompromised. How lonely would you feel? Would you be able to make it?

Now imagine you found out that someone close to you tested positive for COVID, but you were both wearing masks the last time you interacted. Imagine how much more optimistic you would feel about your health knowing you both acted with empathy for others by wearing masks?

Wearing a mask isn't about you. It's about us. Build your capacity for empathy & imagination and please for the love of all of us #wearyourdamnmask